Funsturbation

1.  
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

2.  
Every solution breeds new problems.

3.  
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

4.  
The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

5.  
When all else fails, read the instructions.